The Resident Patients
by maverickiceman
Summary: The spin-off of "Sir Justin's ......". The continuing medical misadventures of Ollie and Wally!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This series is the spin-off of my other fic," Sir Justin's Hospital Hangup", my most reviewed and visited fic to date. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer_ "I'll be back!!" ( Duh!! You don't know this one?!)

* * *

_How do I get myself into these messes?!_

_The Watchtower,_

The Emerald Archer, otherwise known as billionaire Oliver Queen, stalked angrily down the hallways, radiating so much ire it would've split the Red Sea (as well as the Pharoh and his army) in no time flat. The reason could be found clutched in his gloved hand, to wit, a caricature of the League's resident Caped Crusader.

Now one might wonder at Green Arrow's attitude, after all he was never one to pass up an opportunity to laugh at his fellow hero and billionaire. However Oliver Queen drew the line at being credited for someone else's work. Especially when said work looked like it'd been drawn by a spastic chimp suffering from a hangover, ( he was pretty sure his artistic skill though not gallery material, wasn't _all _that bad).

So now, he was on a mission to hunt down the one Leaguer reckless (or stupid if you wanted the unadulterated, blunt, not watered down truth) enough to pull a stunt like this off and think it would work.

That is until he heard two voices coming from the Atom's lab.

"No Flash, you got the wire's crossed." said the voice of Ray Palmer.

"Oh, so the blue goes with the red and the black goes with the white?" came the reply.

"Precisely!!"

"Hey guys, what're you two doing?" asked Ollie, curiosity overcoming his urge to seek and destroy.

"Nothing much, just helping Ray set up his latest scientific gizmo." said the Scarlet Speedster from the middle of a forest of rainbow hued cables." You?"

"Just hunting down Booster, he's responsible for this," he said indicating the sketch titled 'The Dork Knight'." But he's giving me all the credit. You two have seen him?"

"Nope."

"Unfortunately, no."

"Well I'll get him sooner or later." Arrow said turning around. His Good Samaritan side, though, stopped him. "You guys look like you could use some help." He said stepping back into the room.

"Some aid would be beneficial." Atom stated.

"Yeah, even with my speed this would take a while." Wally said, gesturing at the numerous cables snaking around the room.

"So," Ollie said, picking up two wires." The red goes with the blue?"

_15 minutes later_

Booster chuckled as he thought about the trick he'd pulled, he was sure his fellow prankster the Flash would enjoy it, and had tracked him down to tell him all the details.

"Hey Flash, Atom have you heard what Arrow did?" he proceeded to lay out the entire incident, completely missing the emerald garbed form sprawled under the machine the other two were working on.

The figure however, wasn't so oblivious; all his anger came boiling back to the surface. "You gold-plated nincompoop!!" Ollie roared, lunging up and at Booster, ignoring Ray's yell to 'mind the wires'.

The explosion could be heard throughout the Watchtower.

Two hours later, Ollie opened his eyes to see two injured and very pissed scientists glaring at him from the other side of the Sickbay.(Booster escaped injury thanks to his force field).

Ollie gulped nervously.

"How do I get myself into these messes?" he thought.

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_Next:-_ "Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into!!"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This is set after 'Grudge Match'.

_Disclaimer:_ "Russian components, American components, they're all made in Taiwan!!" (_Armageddon_)

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_Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into!!_

Oliver Queen looked askance at his companion; the red head just ignored the look and continued to plead. "Oh come on, Arrow don't you wanna see your girlfriend in a dragged out, all out brawl with the rest of the girls. All their boyfriends will be there, well _ex_-boyfriend in Shayera's case…"

"Then why are _you _coming? Linda wasn't in the fights." Ollie interrupted.

"Booster and I are the impartial judges, you know which was the hott-er I mean _best _fight. We're the best choice since our _better_ halves weren't involved."

"You better hope Linda doesn't get to know," Arrow warned. " Is Bruce there too?" he asked curiously.

"Naah, he said he's seen all Diana has, there's nothing he hasn't seen already."

"Whoa, whoa, that's a bit _too_ much info."

"Yeah I know." smirked Wally. "Personally, I think it's all a bluff, besides knowing Bats he's probably got his own DVD copy."

"How did you get a copy again?" asked Arrow.

"Booster got it, from one of his _sources._" said Flash.

"Figures, that guy _still_ can't pass up a chance to ogle the girls."

Arrow meanwhile has just entered the code to access the lounge only to find it full of all the currently attached, as well as a few of the unattached, males of the League. Bruce as stated previously was noticeable by his absence as was the Boy Scout.

"You guys didn't invite Superman?"

"He's called the Boy Scout for a reason G.A" Booster said making his way through the crowd to his fellow judge, his progress hampered by the two extra large tubs of popcorn in his hands. "Now you're here, let's get this show on the road!!"

_Half an hour later:-_

"I'm gonna skin Q!!" hissed Helena Bartinelli a.k.a Huntress.

"No fair, I was going to do the same to Ollie!" protested Black Canary.

"Shows how original you can be, you blond bimbo!" Huntress retorted.

"Hussy!!"

"Birdbrain!!"

"Alright stop it!" said Fire, the hot-tempered Brazilian didn't want a cat fight to erupt _right_ now (later would be preferable, when she was on a mission perhaps?) Having staved off the immediate threat of bloodshed, she turned to her other two companions, two corners of the Leagues current love triangle, both of whom were avoiding eye contact with each other. "On three then, we go in and bash some sense into those thick skulls in there," she said indicating the closed door from the other side of which loud shouts of encouragement and other assorted emotions could be heard. "1, 2, 3!!"

_The resulting brawl would go down in League history as Reason #9 Why you shouldn't get female Leagues mad at you.( A helpful list whose main contributors were Green Arrow, Flash and Booster Gold, though Superboy, Impulse and the third Robin were later given honorable mentions.)_

When Flash regained consciousness in Sickbay, he was greeted by a curt "Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into!" courtesy of a _very_ pissed off Oliver Queen, Esquire.

"It wasn't me. Someone must have squealed. Maybe it's Bats.." protested Flash.

_That very moment, Gotham City:-_

Batman sneezed just as he finished knocking out the Joker.

"Sounds like you're coming down with something." commented Bat-Girl.

The Dark Knight just sniffed in reply.

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_Next:-_ "I'm sorry, Ollie!"


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:**_Sorry for the long wait, I encountered technical difficulties and then writer's block. Anyway, I hope this fic (the result of me spending V-Day alone at home) makes up for the wait. Enjoy.

_Disclaimer: _V-Day is S.A.D!!

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I'm Sorry, Ollie!!

In the Watchtower is the Sickbay, a place of healing and rest, and in the Sickbay is a room set aside for the more medically challenged Leaguers. It was unofficially known as the 'Green & Red Room', and not because the Christmas decorations were stored there (that was Supply closet 24, Sector 12, Sub-section J). No, the name was derived from the colours of the uniforms of the room's most frequent occupants.

Today, however it was a sea of white, mainly because both of those occupants were in full body casts, with only their eyes, noses mouths and a few tufts of hair visible.

"I told you wouldn't get away with it." Said the blond body cast.

"It was worth it. I hacked in didn't I? And ordering the same Valentine cards delivered was a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself." Replied the carrot top body cast.

"Yeah, but he's _the World's Greatest Detective_! He'd definitely figure out you were to blame. Sending them to Selina and Diana was O.K. Adding Zatanna was a nice touch, but _every_ female villain he has, that's overkill, Wally!!"

"But it sure was great, watching him being chased by all of them." came the whiny reply.

"Why'd he have to bash _me_?! I'm an innocent bystander! You telling me was the first I heard about it. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time!"

"I'm sorry, Ollie."

"Dianah's going to kill me for being in here on Valentine's. You're lucky Linda's out of town."

"……."

"She's expecting you to run up for a visit, isn't she?"

"Shut up!"

"Ha! You're gonna be in the dog-house. Welcome to my world, pal!"

"What I don't get is why Supes and S.T.R.I.P.E ganged up on me too. I didn't send it to Lois, Kara or Courtney."

The Sickbay was silent until a cry of "BOOSTER!!" rang out, promising loads of pain to said hero. The subject of Wally's ire shivered momentarily, before continuing to hawk lingerie 'designed' by Black Canary and Fire( though it was still hotly debated in the Watchtower's mens lounge whether the latter wore any).

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_Next:- _Visiting Hours are now over.


End file.
